This is the Real.

Hello Everyone

It's been a quite a turbulent week and I am glad that I now have a chance to reflect on it all. I have experienced great pain, and sometimes I still struggle with the reality of the loss... A young girl I knew died of cancer on monday. I had just went to visit her the day before, and I saw the pain, saw the complete difference between who I knew, and what the cancer had done to her body (but not her spirit). I was already shook when I went to go see because although I have had quite a few people in my life die of cancer (including my grandfather, cousin and neighbor), I had never actually seen someone dying. I had never seen a YOUNG person dying.

I am thankful that she is no longer suffering, but the fact that she no longer exists (existence preceeds essence) was hard to accept. I do now (although I go through random bouts of sadness), and I find comfort in the fact she lives in my heart, and all beautiful songs. She was a singer, and one of the most talented ones I have ever known. She will live on in all my songs. The fragility of life, the percieved injustice of the Universe. They say there is always a reason, so I must believe that there is in order to accept this. My heart goes out to her family and close friends.

But moving beyond this tremendous loss, I have many questions, potential insights. Sometimes, we may question how real everything is. Is this "reality" just a figment of our horrible imaginations, or can such a violent, wonderous, perplexing place really exist?

It does.

It is so real, that sometimes it can be overwhelming, suffocating and immensly frightening. But this is it. The beautiful thing about this existence is that it is fluid. We have the power to make it into something that is unbearable: we take the lives of others, take our own lives or create painful memories for others. Or we can make it something so beautiful, so positive, exhilirating and fulfilling that when the end comes, there will be no sad eulogies of half lives and unrealized dreams.

We are here. This is now. This is the Real.


Peace.

Spokenword.

Poem I wrote today.

Unconditional Love.

My heart

Is like an ocean

Crashing

Over and over again on

The shores of

my consciousness

The shores of

my words

they gently pull the sand inwards

towards it’s center it’s

beating, thrusting heart it’s

overwhelming calm it’s

overbearing exciting its totally

uninvited anxiety anger happiness peace love hate

forgiveness.

The ocean in my heart

It spills over through my mouth

Over the lips the rim and

Everything that I

Think, feel

Wish I could say, dare to say…

Sometimes it even leaks from between my legs

Rushing out into the world,

Overwhelming all and everything with this

Oceanic love this

Vast unending

Deep sea blue

Crystallized

Snow-like, soft

Warm, sunlight.

Oshun gave me this heart

Oshun gave me this heart so I can beat

Give my love to the world, beat

With everything for this world.

My oceanic heart.

It beats for the love that I gave

The love that was never returned

It beats for the hands I never held and for

The lips I never kissed the

Soft skin I’ve never touched

The gentle eyes that I never saw…

It beats for the hearts that go unknown

It beats for

The wild flowers being grown

It beats for

The babies of Mother Earth

It beats for

The sun goddess giving us her warmth

It beats for

Us all it

It beats for us all brotha it

It beats for us all it

It beats for us all sista it

It beats!

It beats.

Thank you, mother.